Monday, August 27, 2007

Ramblings About Life in the Big City...

It's always been a source of puzzlement to why Jews, doesn't matter what type (O, C, R, Nothing), insist on living in big, giant cities, like New York and Los Angeles. I mean, honestly, what's the attraction?

I'm a big city person. I've lived in both New York and Los Angeles. In fact, I mostly grew up in Los Angeles (minus about six years in Israel). The problem with these places, aside from the obvious jokes one can make about both LA and NY, is they are TOO DAMN BIG!! But, I hate the big city. New York was awful. People there acted horribly, were quite rude, and it was way too overcrowded. In LA, people were a bit nicer, but again, there were just too many!

When a community becomes so huge as to number in the upper hundreds of thousands people, or even in the millions, that community ceases to be a community. Oh, sure, there are smaller shuls which one may join, larger ones in which one may be active. And within the confines of those shuls, certainly, there is some sense of community.

But what about community in a larger sense? A community to which everyone who is Jewish belongs? That dies when a community becomes a population. And that's the difference between a community and a population. A community, like the one in which I currently live, is close-knit, friendly, and gives you a sense of belonging. Shuls do things in conjunction with other shuls. They support each other in many endeavors.

On the other hand, a population is just that, a population. A population does not give one the sense of a community. You are invisible most of the time, unless you are within the framework of your shul or social circle.

I've never understood why Jews tend to congregate in large metropolitan areas. Certainly, with New York, which was the immigrant drop-off point, it made sense that a Jewish community would form there. But why stay? Even more relevant, why MOVE there?! Again, I understand NY has much to offer in the way of conveniences, restaurants, etc. But as someone who lived there, as someone who knows people who live there, it's just awful!

LA has become similar, unfortunately. It's even become a joke the New Yorkers like to call LA New York West.

When you lose a sense of community, you lose a sense of self as well, I believe. You lose, even, a sense of worth, unless you are very influential in many circles, and usually that means lot of money. What about all the rest who aren't wealthy?

Here's the other problem: There are so many beautiful small cities or towns where a Jewish person can settle quite comfortably and spend thousands, even hundreds of thousands, less than it would cost to live a Big City. In my new town, for instance, which has a substantial Jewish community, and even a Jewish Federation that is friendly toward the Orthodox community (don't know about New York, but certainly not the case in LA - they hate Orthodox Jews there!), a house that would have cost between $900,000 to $1.2 million in LA costs between $125,000 and $300,000 here. And in LA, the house would be smaller as it would have no basement and a tiny backyard. And it would only be three bedrooms and 1.75 bathrooms. Here, it would be four or five bedrooms, two or three bathrooms, have a finished basement and nice sized backyard.

Take it even further. On our drive from LA to where we currently live, we went through some really gorgeous, gleaming towns that are just dying for an opportunity to have their community expand a bit. Even better, what about starting new communities, living in truly amazing places like the Rocky Mountains? On our way here, we passed through the Rockies. Let me tell you, I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life. From the bright night sky to the clean air, from the Colorado River to the wooded towns all along the way, all I could do was say "Ma Rabu Ma'asecha Hashem!" It was so clean, so crisp, and so incredibly beautiful. And yet, no Jews lived there. What's up with that?! If I weren't frum, or not Jewish, our drive would have ended right there. We'd have stopped, found some way to make a living, and settled there.

This is something I've always wondered. Why do Jews live in big, ugly cities instead of in beautiful places?

I've crossedposted this at DovBear et al

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

A simple answer--in retirement, I moved to a large city so that I would be able to walk, take short cab rides or bus rides to concerts, plays, shopping. I can also walk to an Orthodox shul, a Lubovicher shtibel or to two reform congregations. While I choose not to attend any, I know people who do, and have become friendly and part of a sub-community of JEws bound by yiddishkeit. When I lived in a small and more affordable city, the minhag in this Jewish community of 10,000 was to belong to three shuls, orthodox, conservative and reform. You could often find your friends in any one of them, and the common thread was yiddishkeit.

Esther said...

What wasn't mentioned in this post is that we had a large group of young families who researched all over the country and we came up with some amazing small Jewish communities - some more well-known (towns in Florida), some that I would never imagined having a frum population (Phoenix). Of course no one would say that everyone should move to these places - after all, if everyone moved, you would just have a new large city. But what was surprising to us was the resistance from people who would otherwise be interested in relocating for a more suburban, more affordable, more family-oriented town - but were relictant to do so only because of an image that "Jews live in L.A. and New York." Or because "there' not enough restaurants." Seriously, those were the two most common reasons people gave for not even looking into the possibilty, when they were already unhappy with living in an urban center.

What has been most impressive about Cleveland is the extent of frum life. There are three frum schools which are all considered good quality. The restaurants make sure to show up at local events so that there will be kosher food. There are just as many, actually more, kosher products in our regular grocery store, and there are only about two or three products that we have not been able to find here.

The downsides - as someone mentioned, there are only a limited number of neighborhoods to choose from. And there is a limited amount of variety in restaurants.

(This comment also posted on DovBear.)