So...Just Ignore Them...

About three years, my wife, son, and I spent a Shabbos in Phoenix, AZ. We were at the time considering moving there from Los Angeles, and friends of ours put us in touch with the Rosh Kollel there, Rabbi Zvi Holland. He invited us for Shabbos and to come see the community.

Rabbi Holland, who is a couple of years younger than me but many years wiser, is an amazing person and tried to convince me of something. This was at a time when I was starting to question the Chareidi/Yeshivish way of life and how that way of life was really bothering me. We sat up on Friday night until about midnight talking about this. Now, you have to understand, Rabbi Holland is a certified, black-hat-wearing Yeshiva Musmach (from the Mir in Yerushalayim), but he is anything but Yeshivish in the traditional sense.

With all the hours of talking, he had one piece of advice about how the Yeshivish/Chareidim were acting, and still do act today. "You're not going to change them," he said. "So, just IGNORE THEM."

"What do you care what they think about you?" he continued. "You are a halacha following Jew, you keep Torah and Mitzvos. Let them do what they want to do, and you do what you need to do. Don't let them bother you. They are not worth your Ugmas Nefesh. They are not worth you being angry over them. JUST IGNORE THEM." He reiterated this many times in the conversation.

It took me almost three years, but I am finally taking his lesson to heart. They really are not worth our time.