AAAHHHHH!! THE SHIDDUCH SYSTEM...

A very close friend of ours, a single woman living in New York, forwarded to us the following invitation to a Singles Event in Monsey, New York. The name of the person organizing the event has been changed to protect the not so innocent. See my comments below:

"Ruchie Yentastein’s June 17 Monsey event (and poem etc) for : 25-35 year old frum professionals

Greetings to all my Dear Friends (and Forgotten Acquaintances),

I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to my next event. But first, a short sonnet that I have written in honor of this occasion.

Ode to Dating
Blind Date, how do I love thee,
Let me count the ways,
Like a beautiful train with a luxurious dining car,
And first class seating,
Then being run over by it.
And like a magnificent rose,
On a clear summer day
Pink and fragrant and new,
Being devoured by two brown worms,
But much worse.

(By the way, this poem describes blind dating in my day. I am sure things have improved by now. But if not, you may want to come to this event.)

Still the Record to Beat
Five Shidduchim from one event.

And Now for the details
Where:
When:
Why: Because it is time to get married
Who: 25-35 year old frum professionals
How much: See Schedule

Schedule
Amazing Early Bird Special Until May 23---------------------------------> 33 dollars
Pretty Good Early Bird Special May 24 Until June 8 -----------------> 40 dollars
Ho Hum Regular Rate after June 8 ------------------------------------------> 50 dollars

Please send check payable to:
Ruchie Yentastein
Monsey, New York

Very Scary Request
If you would like to come, please confirm as soon as possible! Last time I had many sad people on the waiting list. Remember, you must have reservations or you will not be allowed in....

Speed Dating
As we all know how much, um, fun, speed dating can be, I am thinking of doing it again at this event. There are many good things to be said about speed dating.

What is Good About Speed Dating
Speed dating is a very good thing. Speed dating is exciting. Speed dating is cost effective. A gentleman who participates in speed dating will save 4967 dollars. A gentleman from out of town will save 64967 dollars. These are good deals. A woman will save herself 99 manicures. This is a good deal, too.

How I Derived these Calculations
For the gentleman: The average date runs about 50 dollars. Meet 100 women in speed dating, multiply by 50 and subtract event fee.
For the out of town gentleman: Take an average of 400 dollars for airfare, 200 dollars for car rental and 500 dollars for date, multiply by 100 and subtract event fee.
For the woman: Take 100 manicures, subtract one (and pick a color).

And Now for a Beautiful Story that is Sure to Bring Tears to your Eyes
This is a story about a handsome and charming young man who did not want to participate in speed dating, though he could have saved 4967 dollars. I will call him Rich Ralph. This is also a story about a beautiful and sweet young woman who did not either want to participate in speed dating (could have saved 99 manicures). I will call her Shy Shirley. Despite my begging, pleading and pitiful weeping, Shirley and Ralph remained unconvinced.
Epilogue: Forced to spend three hours together on the sidelines, while everyone else had fun speed dating, Ralph and Shirley got engaged three months later.
Moral of this Story: Whether you choose to speed date or not, statistically speaking, you have a good chance of getting engaged from the event.
Conclusion: There may or may not be speed dating, depending on the weather and depending on my mood. Hope to see you! "

OY!! As our friend in New York said, there are just no words, but I'll try to find some.

First, a sonnet is 14 lines, not ten. People really need to know what they are talking about before the talk about it or name it.

Second, Seriously, the grammar is atrocious! Come on, lady! You're inviting professionals to this event! Be professional!

Third, this invitation almost makes a mockery of singles and I, a happily married person with two children, found it quite offensive.

Now, don't get me wrong. According to our friend in New York, the person organizing this event means very well and opens her house to these things. But guilt tripping people into coming is just wrong. I've heard many first hand accounts of these "meet markets" and 99% of what I've heard is just offensive, including the term "meet market." Are singles a piece of meat to be auctioned off to the highest bidder?

There have been many blogs with many not so favorable critiques about the Shidduch System, and I am in agreement with most of them, so there is no need for me to degrade it further. Others do it better and far more eloquently than I. I just wanted to share this email.