Planning...

So. We've bankrupted. A new beginning, albeit a kind of lousy way to go about it. But we'll survive.

Now we have to figure it all out. I'm looking for a job. My business tanked. Frankly, I never liked it anyway. It was my father's and not something about which I ever truly strongly felt. So, we'll see if any opportunities pan out.

Ideally, I'd like to find something part-time. My wife (who is also looking for a new job because she hates the one she's at right now) has full benefits, so those aren't really an issue for me when job searching. I'm going to study for the GRE exam (that's the one to get into grad school). I'd like to go back to school. I have a few choices in front of me. One is a PhD in counseling psychology. Another, one that is probably more realistic, is a Master's in education. It's something I can use in Israel.

Which brings me to the next step. I'm hoping, once done with school, in whatever subject I choose, to make Aliyah. It's getting to be time. My wife, given a workable, viable, REALISTIC plan, is open to the idea.

While I would like nothing better than to pack up tomorrow and go home, I won't do it. First, there's the history lesson. My dad did it that way. You know what it did? It screwed up my life. Royally. He didn't give one damn where we ended up, whether he had a job waiting, or what the quality of the schools was for his children. I actually ended up in a cheder for two and a half years. No general studies education whatsoever. For that entire time. Imagine how well I did when we came back to the States at the beginning of high school. Yeah. Not so well...

Second, there's a Shalom Bayit issue. I love my wife very much. I am completely devoted to her. Only problem is I haven't acted that way the last several years. That's changing. She will not go without a real plan of where and how we're going to live and we will absolutely go somewhere ONLY that offers the best possible school for our children. And she will not go without at least one of us, preferably both, and most preferably me, without a job waiting. Period. And you know what? She's absolutely correct. I have a friend/fellow blogger who told me the mitzvah of living in Eretz Yisrael is more important than Shalom Bayit. I respectfully disagree. And I speak from experience. It's not just Shalom Bayit between spouses. It's also about Shalom Bayit with one's children and doing what's best for them in the best possible way. My father did it in the worst possible way. The results were, and still are, unacceptable. It's not going to happen that way again.

So there you have it. We'll go, God willing. But we'll go properly this time, not helter-skelter as my father did. I will NOT screw up my children's lives the way he screwed up mine. Period.

Now I just gotta take that GRE exam. Oy. Then I gotta figure out what I want to do. I'll only get one chance at this, and I gotta do it right.